Readinghabit.net BLOG 7: 12 RULES OF LIFE - DR. JORDAN B PETERSON
Hey flocks, welcome back to readinghabit.net. Hope you are doing great. I am keeping my expectations very high in this blog and I mean it when I say these. As you can read from the blog name only 12 Rules of life by Dr Jordan B Peterson and this blog will be long because I will elaborate in detail. So let's not waste the time, as usual, let's begin with the author's description.
Author description: Dr Jordan B Peterson is a professor of psychology, clinical psychologist, YouTube personality & Author. His first book was Maps of Meaning. This was the second one 12 rules of life & His latest book name is Beyond order.
Jordan Peterson believes that simple handbooks of the rules of life exist. At least he has written it. This book has 12 chapters, or you can say, 12 rules of Peterson, which will help you to live your best life & it will teach you unexpected facts as well. Every rule will teach you something. I would say the title only teaches you a lesson. So let's begin with the first rule.
Rule 1: Stand up straight with your shoulder back (Your body language matters the most.)
Always have the mindset of a winner. When you have this, you will be more responsible and act carefully in difficult situations. People will respect you more. Tell yourself that no matter how unfair life gets, you should never blame the world, and if you are confident, then you can achieve anything.
Peterson describes this chapter with a lobster he says that lobsters often encounter one another when exploring. A lobster loser's brain chemistry differs importantly from that of a lobster winner. This is reflected in their relative posture. Whether a lobster is confident or cringing depends on the ratio of two chemicals: serotonin and octopamine. A high level of serotonin & a low level of octopamine lobster always wins. So the winner always takes the most.
People who frequently win in life become bold in their winning strategies, increasing their confidence and generating more success. People who are more depressed or those who feel that life is a never-ending problem are more likely to lose because they already feel like they will fail. So if you are trying to head in life, first break a toxic cycle, then think like a lobster. Keep faking it until you win, fix your posture, think like a winner.
So tomorrow ask yourself which lobster you want to be in your life?
Rule 2: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. (Self-loving one request While you are reading this topic, Read this title two times. You will feel so good inside. You will feel something loving towards yourself.)
As I always say, self-care is the most important thing you have to do in your life. Think that you are helping someone. You help that person with a good heart and you will try your best to help him. Care for yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Peterson said Imagine that it isn't you who feels sick. It's your dog. So, you take him to the vet. The vet gives you a prescription. What happens then? You have just as many reasons to distrust a vet as you do a doctor. Furthermore, if you cared so little for your pet that you weren't concerned with what improper, substandard or error-ridden prescription he might have been given, you wouldn't have taken him to the vet in the first place. Thus, you care. Your actions prove it. In fact, on average, you care more. People are better at filling and properly administering prescription medication for their pets than for themselves. That's not good. Even from your pet's perspective, it's not good. Your pet (probably) loves you and would be happier if you took your medication.
So take care of yourself from today.
Rule 3: Make a friend with people who want the best from you (Have a good friend)
Let's start with a quote from Naval Ravikant.
"There’s a theory that I call the ‘five chimp theory’. In Zoology, you can predict the mood and behaviour patterns of any chimp by which five chimps they hang out with the most." Having a good friend is the most important thing in our lives because most of our behaviour comes from our friends. It's always important to pick those friends who would improve one's wellbeing rather than those who would hurt one's wellbeing.
A beautiful line that Peterson says If you surround yourself with people who support your upward aim, they will not tolerate your cynicism & destructiveness. They will instead encourage you when you do good for yourself and others and punish you carefully when you do not.
Rule 4: Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today (Be your own).
This chapter tells you that self-criticism is the most important thing in life. It's useful for the development of the person. Playing your own game, paying attention to the present environment while aiming at the future is a perfect recipe for success. To be successful, improve yourself at every point. Set a high goal and then break it into smaller goals. If you achieve that small goal, then you will be motivated to work on other tasks.
Peterson says that comparisons with others are simply inappropriate. Perhaps you are overvaluing what you don't have and undervaluing what you do. There's some real utility in gratitude. It's also good protection against the dangers of victimhood and resentment. Your colleague outperforms you at work. His wife, however, is having an affair, while your marriage is stable and happy. What could be better?
You get what you settle for.
Rule 5: Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them. (Teaching a manner to the children)
The right way to raise children is the biggest responsibility of every parent. Peterson says parents are the arbiters of society. They teach children how to behave so that other people will be able to interact meaningfully and productively with them. Understand your child perfectly, don't ignore them when they have done something good, appreciate them, but if they do something wrong, set rules which can help them to teach a lesson. My grandma used to say one thing: children learn most things from their homes and mostly from their parents.
I will place one link to a youtube video where Peterson talks about this
Rule 6: Set your house in perfect order Before you criticize the world (Don't play a blame game)
Don't go by the title of this chapter. The theme of this chapter is the problem of humans. We all like to play the blame game. We blame others for our problems. Instead, most of the problems that individuals encounter are caused by personal mistakes, bad choices, and poor decision-making. Setbacks and suffering are inevitable in life. Some people respond with denial, helplessness, anger, or even acts of vengeance. Yet, others are positively transformed by adversity—they make peace with what happened and devote themselves to making a positive difference.
Clear your life by accepting the life circumstances as we learned in the books of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck.If you haven't read that book, then go to my blog where I have written about this book.
Your problem is yours, not others. Just face it & slove it.
Rule 7: Pruse what is meaningful (Not what is Expedient)
(sacrifice for something good for the sake of the future.)
In our lives, times come when we have to make a decision that can greatly impact our future or the present. To live a good life means sacrificing for something good for the future. Peterson says that what is the difference between the successful and the unsuccessful? The successful sacrifice. Things get better as the successful make their sacrifices, and second, you will learn to share. Share good things with others.
While I was making the draft, this topic came to my head so I just thought to share it with you.
One thing I want to tell those who are in their twenties is that it's a time where you will decide for the future. This is the time where you will start to earn. Nowadays, I see most people (Youngster)while doing jobs say how much salary they will get instead of saying how much knowledge they will get. For the sake of good, don't see the money right now. See how much knowledge you are getting while working in that organization.
“Like the lotus flower that is born out of mud, we must honour the darkest parts of ourselves and the most painful of our life’s experiences, because they are what allow us to birth our most beautiful self.” – Debbie Ford
8) Tell the truth or at least, don't lie (self-realization)
This chapter helped me to write the first weekly blog where I wrote about self-realization. Self-realization helps us to grow in our lives. We tend to lie to ourselves in one way or the other, whatever it takes to meet certain goals without putting any work toward them. If you want to live a good life or to be successful, you need to tell the truth to yourself. If you want to know more about this, then read the first weekly blog.
Let's view from Peterson's point of view. What happens if, instead, we decide to stop lying? We must make decisions here & now, even though the best means and the goals can never be discerned with certainty. An aim provides a destination, the structure necessary for action. An aim defines progress and makes such progress exciting.
Let's say the truth to ourselves from today.
Rule 9: Assume that the person you are listening to you might know something you don't. (Listen to learn)
Listing in an art. This we can learn from Dale Carnegie book How to win friends and influence people. Having the full attention of another human being can cause the speaker to feel valued, comforted, and supported. However, sometimes it can be more profitable to be a listener than a speaker.
The same thing with books. They give you advice so you can not make the mistakes you learn from them. It's like listening to learn.
Most successful people learn from listening.
Rule 10: Be Precise in your speech. (Define your problem or share your feeling.)
When people experience pain from the challenges of life, they must share their troubles and feelings with others. Although it may be difficult, speaking up is a great strategy to settle some of the most unnerving issues. As Peterson says,"... if you talk to your doctor, all those possible terrible diseases will collapse, with luck, into just one terrible (or not so terrible) disease, or even into nothing. Then you can laugh at your previous fears, and if something goes wrong, well, you're prepared. There is no better cure for human problems than honest engagement with other people and sharing with them the individual problems.
This chapter I feel must be read by those who are in relationships or married. Talking to your partner helps you solve your problems and helps you understand each other.
Rule 11: Do Not Bother Children when they are Skateboarding(Take a risk to win a future & Stand up when something is going on wrong )
This chapter is a little bit confusing. A lot of things Peterson says in this one chapter. For me, it took me 4 days to read this chapter. This chapter has two-part but somehow I learned that the physical act of skating is reasonably dangerous, but the danger that children desire is of greater concern. Children can turn these potentially dangerous games into experiences in which they can develop character and resilience. As we know from evolution, tough situations force individuals to adapt beneficially. Here, Peterson is talking about taking risks. Don't be afraid to take risks in life for the sake of the future.
Peterson says men enforce a code of behaviour on each other when working together. Do your work. Pull your weight. Stay awake and pay attention. Don't whine or be touchy. Stand up for your friends. Don't suck up & don't snitch. Don't be a slave to stupid rules. Here he talks about if something is going on wrong, just speak up and help those who are suffering from that rule.
Rule 12: Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street (Pay attention to the little things in life.)
This chapter was a personal chapter for Peterson. Peterson’s daughter suffered from unexplained juvenile rheumatoid arthritis for decades, enduring years of chronic pain and risking amputation. His daughter has to go through that pain & the producer of the medical condition that is described.
One thing he said which I liked the most was that when a problem comes, take one at a time. It's a war, not a battle. In war, you have to fight many battles. So, appreciate small things when your problem is not in your hand. Pay attention to the things which you can change.
Such a great book to read. I was very excited about writing this blog & sharing it with you. Please read this book. It is very useful to know the rules for living a good life. I loved it. Hope you do that. If you have any questions regarding this book, don't hesitate to message me or mail me. I would love to help you. Even if you learn something new, do share it with me. I will share that thing or add that content to this blog. Hope these blogs give you the motivation to read books if yes then give alike & tell your family or friends about Readinghabit.net
Till then, stay safe, wear a mask, take the vaccine & maintain social distance. See you in the next blog.